Wicked Wiccan Willow
by Willow The Bitch
Summary: Willow undergoes some serious changes in her lifestyle.
1. Disclaimer

Disclaimer:  
  
Everything. Every charactor. They ALL belong to Joss Whedon.  
  
The ideas for this particular story are mine. I have/will receive help by way of cristicism and some ideas from my friends.  
  
The story is set in Season 3. It is sometime after the Willow/Xander cheating and caught, and before the episode Doppelgangled.  
  
There may be slight Buffy bashing in this story, as I do not like her too much. 


	2. A Sour Beginning

Willow, waiting patiently and quietly, looks up from her seat.   
  
Her eyes focus on some unseen object.   
  
She sits, and stares, oblivious to all activity and noise.  
  
She suddenly blinks, and sighs slightly.  
  
-I've been waiting for just slightly over two hours-  
  
Feeling a slight grumble embedded deep into her stomach, she gets up from the chair, and moves towards the food lines.  
  
While waiting, she watches as couple dance together, and as solo people hang out and hook up.  
  
-Whoever may have said that the Bronze isnt the place to be must be delusional.- Willow decides to herself.  
  
She feels a sudden tap on one of her shoulders, and turns in place with a grin on her face.  
  
She stops short, and a look with just a touch of fear crosses her face.  
  
"Uhm....Hello, Spike."  
  
The bleached-blonde vampire gives a slight smirk at the young witch's reaction.  
  
"Red." He says, as way of greeting.  
  
A wary look inches its way onto her face, and she takes a step back.  
  
"Spike....please go away, far away!"  
  
-Maybe he'll attack me, and Turn me into a vampire!-  
  
That thought brings forth an expression full of wonder, worry, curiosity, rejection, and quite strangely, hope.  
  
-No! Dont think that!-   
  
Willow mentally kicks herself.  
  
Spike watches as the wide array of expressions come, go and linger.  
  
Willow moves nervously out of the food line, and towards her previous chair, but stops and freezes suddenly as an angered shout is heard from the enterance.  
  
Before either vampire or witch could see the source, or react to it, a hand is whirling Spike around powerfully.  
  
He is greeted with the sight of a pissed Slayer's fist coming straight at his face.  
  
Willow watches the 'fight', all thoughts of getting food jetting out of her mind.  
  
The blonde girl gets a barrage of powerful punches in on Spike before he is enabled to move back.  
  
Spike shakes his head.  
  
"Sis, you really need a day job."  
  
He turns and walks off silently, trying to save his bruised ego.  
  
Buffy starts to move after him, but Willow places a soft hand on the Slayer's shoulder, and shakes her head when Buffy looks at her.  
  
The two friends walk to an unoccupied table, having much to talk about.  
  
The first thing out of Buffy's mouth: "Why, Will? He was talking to you, maybe planning something."  
  
Willow grins weakly.  
  
"Cuz he's so fun to beat up on? For you I mean. Not me. Cuz, y'know, i'm not that good a fighter...."  
  
Willow trails off, growing a bit flustered.  
  
Buffy chuckles softly, then looks serious.  
  
"I mean it, Wills. Why?"  
  
Willow shakes her head slowly, a confused expression on her face.  
  
"I dont know Buffy.  
  
Buffy nods, and a slight smile appears at the corners of her mouth, but inwardly she is concerned.  
  
"I'm sorry I am so late Wills. My boss kept me a bit late tonight. Darn those stuffy English people."  
  
Even as she complains about Giles, the smile spreads.  
  
Willow leans over to the Slayer, and hugs her.  
  
"It's alright Buffy. Couldnt be helped."  
  
-She coulda tried harder.-  
  
-Damn it! Go away you annoying little voice!-  
  
Buffy starts to speak, then her voice trails off softly.  
  
Willow cranes her head around, wanting to get a good look of what affected the Slayer.  
  
Angel is standing near the front enterance to the Bronze, and his gaze is cast at Buffy.  
  
Buffy looks back to Willow.  
  
"Hey Willow, I really am sorry about that."  
  
Willow lets loose a tiny sigh, and she nods her head.  
  
"Go have fun with Angel, Buffy."  
  
Willow hides the dejected feeling she feels as Buffy thanks her, and takes off.  
  
-Wow. What a great friend you have, Willow. She leaves you, who has been waiting for hours, for her vampy boyfriend who just got here. Typical.-  
  
This time, Willow doesnt 'reply' back to the voice.  
  
Instead, she gets up and ignoring the happy Slayer and Angel as they dance, she moves to the exit.   
  
Just before she reaches it, however, something heavy hits her in the back of the head, and blackness envelops. 


	3. Conversation and Revelation

Willow awakens with a quick hiss of pain.  
  
She finds herself able to move all body parts, and she feels around the back of her head until she finds the bump.  
  
She blinks, her thoughts being slightly murky.  
  
-What happened?-   
  
-Weak lil Willow got captured again.-   
  
Willow couldnt help thinking the last part, being a bit angered at herself.  
  
"Ah, so Red awakens," the familiar voice of Spike forces it's way into Willow's ears.  
  
She nods listlessly.  
  
"So, what are you going to do? Do you want something from me? Is it a trap for Buffy? Why am I still alive? Why didnt you tie me up or something?"  
  
Willow cannot help the stream of questions that she wants the answers to.  
  
"That would be up to you. Yes and no. No. Didnt fancy killing you. Wouldnt want my guest being uncomfortable."  
  
Spike answers all the questions without missing a stride.   
  
-Gotta admire that,- Willow thinks to herself.  
  
"Why did you take me? I want specifics."  
  
Spike seems a slight surprised at Willow's bluntness, but he smiles slightly.  
  
"You didnt let the Slayer go after me. I want to know why. So I decided to capture you. Your little savior didnt even notice.-  
  
Spike smirks at the last remark he made.  
  
A bitter expression forces its way to Willow's face.  
  
-I cant believe she didnt notice. What a bitch! No, she is my friend. Bitch!-  
  
The last thought seemed to be dominent.  
  
"I didnt because I...."  
  
-What DO I want? To be a vampire.-  
  
Although she should be crying out against that thought, she didnt.  
  
"I want you to Turn me into a vampire. I hate being weak little Willow. Plus the fact that Oz left me, Xander is all broken over the Cordy-leaving-him issue. I'm sick of it. And Buffy? Well, I hate her. She never seems to care about me. I stayed around after she sent Angel to hell, and she cant even hold up for me!"  
  
Willow tries to catch her breath as Spike listens to her tirade.  
  
........................................................................................................................................................................  
  
Leaving it at that because I must leave now. I'll add some more soon! 


	4. Escape or was it?

-NO! Willow, take it back! Take it back!-  
  
A smirking expression appears on Spike's face.  
  
"That could be arranged"  
  
Willow shakes her head weakly as Spike moves closer.  
  
"Spike, I simply said that to make you leave. Now that you arent, repay me for saving you by letting me go!"  
  
The smirk disappears, to be replaced with a frown.  
  
"Red, you got me all excited over having a new pal, now you want to leave? Go. Nobody will stop you. They try, they already know i'll stake 'em myself."  
  
-Aww, how sweet!-  
  
-No. He must be lying.-  
  
Willow struggles to get up, and she runs as fast as she can.  
  
She runs out of the crypt, and runs all the way to her house.   
  
Only when she is at her front door does she stop.  
  
She quickly lets herself in, and goes up to her room.  
  
She moves to her bed, and lays down, falling asleep.  
  
She never gave any thought to the fact that vampires in the crypt saw her, yet didnt act. 


	5. Emails and Phone Messages or are there?

Willow awakens the next morning with the feeling something is different, or wrong.  
  
She swiftly remembers the events of the last......  
  
-How long was I gone? Days? I wonder...-  
  
She walks to her computer, and turns it on.  
  
Willwo waits until it is loaded, and clicks on the calendar.  
  
-5 days! I must have a ton of messages!-  
  
She sits in her chair, and loads up her email account.  
  
The redhead stares at the number of messages in a slight shock.  
  
There was exactly 5 emails waiting.  
  
1) From: Oz  
Day: Friday  
Willow, maybe we could get together later tonight? Maybe at the Bronze.  
  
  
2) From: Oz  
Day: Saturday  
I didnt see you last night, hope you are feeling o.k.!  
  
3) From: Giles  
Day: Saturday  
Willow, I need to do some research today. Please stop by the library if you can.  
  
4) From: Oz  
Day: Sunday  
Hey. Still havent heard from you, I guess you are out of town. See you at the school.   
Cant wait until then. Love you.  
  
5) From: Oz  
Day: Monday  
Willow, I seriously hope you are alright. I'm worried about you!  
  
Willow sighs softly.  
  
-At least Oz still cares. The others probably called.-  
  
Willow walks to the phone and checks the messsages.  
  
Other than one from Giles on Saturday, and a ton of worried messages from Oz, she had none.  
  
Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and keeps ringing.  
  
"Coming!! Just one second!"  
  
She quickly dresses in whatever she could find.  
  
Willow hurries to the door and opens it.  
  
Waiting impatiently for her at the door was Giles. 


	6. A Visit From Giles

Willow's face widens into a grin.  
  
"Giles! What are you doing here?"  
  
Giles takes his glasses off and begins to clean them.  
  
"Willow, yes. I came because I have wondered where you have been. You have missed some school days and......"  
  
Her grin slowly disappears.  
  
"I've....umm....been..gone! I decided to take vacation off the Slayerette thing."  
  
Giles frowns deeply.  
  
"Willow, we could have used your research skills on Saturday. Buffy was barely able to defeat the demon. She was almost killed!"  
  
She takes a breathe, and tries not to snap at Giles.  
  
"Are you saying it is MY fault? Did I cause this?"  
  
Giles looks uncomfortable and begins to answer.  
  
"No. Dont even talk to me. Leave, before I make you leave."  
  
Giles turns to walk off, but Willow stops him.  
  
"Do the others blame me? Buffy, Xander,....Oz?"  
  
Willow stares dully at him, waiting for an answer.  
  
Giles shakes his head.  
  
"Oz didnt blame you, actually he was extremely worried."  
  
Willow starts to tremble.  
  
"What about Buffy and Xander?"  
  
Giles starts walking again to his ancient Citroen, and stops again just before entering.  
  
"Yes. They do."  
  
He gets in the car, starts it up, and drives off, leaving Willow to stare after him.  
  
A single tear escapes her right eye, but she wipes it off angrily and shuts the door.  
  
-Oz...I should call him. I need to talk to somebody....now.-  
  
She moves to the phone, and dials his number.  
  
It rings.  
  
And rings.  
  
And still rings.  
  
"This is Oz, leave a message."  
  
Willow starts to hang up, but stops.  
  
"Oz, it's Willow. I'm safe, i'm fine. Talk to you later."  
  
She hangs up the phone, and only then does she start to sob quietly. 


	7. Lessons

An hour later, Willow is sitting in her room, staring at the phone numbly.  
  
-I wish that I could talk to Oz or.....Spike?-  
  
As if the phone picked up on her thoughts, it rings.  
  
She watches it cautiously, then picks it up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
Oz's relieved voice fills the air space.  
  
"Willow. You're safe."  
  
She smiles, Oz always cared about her.  
  
"Yep. Listen, Oz, i'm sorry I took off. I had a temporary meltdown, I had to get a vacation."  
  
Silence.  
  
Then....  
  
"Ah. Well, you're safe, so it's okay."  
  
She smiles with relief.  
  
"Can I meet you tonight, maybe, to talk?"  
  
His regretful reply is spoken.  
  
"Got a gig."  
  
She sighs softly.  
  
"Alright, then tomorrow?"  
  
Pause.  
  
"Yep."  
  
Willow hangs up the phone, and tears start rolling again, but she mentally kicks herself.  
  
-No! I wont be a crybaby."  
  
She shakes her head emphatically.  
  
"I'll go see Spike."  
  
She marches downstairs and out the door, proud to be so rebellious.  
  
-It's only against myself.-  
  
She finds his crypt, and after a moments hesitation, passes over the threshold.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
She calls out for him, wondering if this was such a great idea.  
  
A lazy voice cuts through the silence as she waits.  
  
"So, Pet. Decided you couldnt resist the Big Bad?"  
  
Willow pastes what she hopes is a cocky expression on her face as she turns.  
  
"Oh, Spike. I could easily resist your manly charms. Or...vampiric charms. I just chose to walk down here to alleviate my boredom."  
  
He masks the surprise that spouts up.  
  
"Now you're all cock of the walk. What, did you screw around with the darkhaired dit again?"  
  
Despite that she feels like crying, Willow raises an eyebrow at him.  
  
"Xander? No. We were caught. Cordelia got a spike up her side."  
  
She tries to keep her voice emotionless, and more or less, she succeeds.  
  
Spike changes the tune quickly, things were getting a tad friendly.  
  
"I dont have time for a brokenhearted witch now. What did you want, Pet?"  
  
Willow pauses, and she lets her coldhearded act up.  
  
"I want you to teach me to fight."  
  
"That all, Pet?"  
  
"Yeah. I dont need Buffy to defend me."  
  
"Luv, what makes you think I have time for you?"  
  
Spike watches her carefully for her reaction.  
  
She smirks with a cockiness she doesnt feel.  
  
"I had to save you from Buffy for a reason. This is it."  
  
Spike raises an eyebrow.  
  
"So, you want to learn to fight. Pet, you've come to the wrong vampire. I'd be too rough on you to handle."  
  
Willow feels a flare of anger pass through her.  
  
"What makes you think I cant handle it? I can do it. Try me."  
  
"Have it your way, Red. Dont say I didnt warn you."  
  
Spike lunges for her. 


	8. Attack!

During the course of the next two months, Willow slowly pulls away from the Scooby Gang.  
  
She spends less time in research, and exceeding amounts of time training with Spike.  
  
Willow lies on the cold, dank floor of Spike's crypt.   
  
Her chest is quickly rising up and down as she tries to catch her breathe.  
  
She is wearing a grey tank top with built in bra, and comfortable grey training pants.  
  
Spike lies next to her, wearing his normal clothing.  
  
"That was...wow."  
  
Willow says with another heavy breathe.  
  
................................................................................................  
  
Buffy is patrolling in the graveyard around Spike's crypt when she hears a loud yell coming from the basement level.  
  
She moves swiftly into the crypt, and goes down to the lower level when she sudden hears a painfully familiar voice.  
  
"That was...wow."  
  
Spike's voice floats to Buffy.   
  
"Never knew you were such the great roll in the dirt, Red."  
  
Buffy hears Willow giggle softly, and continues to listen.  
  
.................................................................................................  
  
"Well, I never knew you were such the great teacher, Blondie."  
  
Willow giggles again.  
  
"Now you got me acting like a schoolgirl. That I am."  
  
She pushes herself up, and shakes her head.  
  
"I love....."  
  
.................................................................................................  
  
When Buffy hears the first words of the enfamed sentence, she runs, and tackles Willow.  
  
After she hits her best friend, she gapes, and wonders what she did.  
  
The next thing she knows, she is being knocked over by a certain peroxide blonde vampire.  
  
................................................................................................  
  
As she gets hit, her first thought is -Attack!-  
  
After she hits the floor, she looks at the attacker just in time to see her before Spike tackles her.  
  
"Buffy?!" 


	9. Argumentation

Buffy looks towards the source of the voice, Willow.  
  
"Willow, I..."  
  
A slightly stormy look appears on Willow's face.  
  
"What? Were stalking me?"  
  
Buffy shakes her head.   
  
"I heard a scream. Thought I would be helping."  
  
Willow has a cold expression.  
  
"You didnt."  
  
Buffy gets a bit angered.  
  
"Wills, I thought I could help. Really, you're the problem."  
  
Willow looks at Buffy strangely.  
  
"Me? I'M the problem? No, Buff. I'm not."  
  
Her words are harmless, her tone isnt.  
  
"You are off doing god-knows-WHAT with a vampire!"  
  
Willow takes a step forward, glaring crazily at Buffy.  
  
"You want to know what we've been doing? We've been fucking, Buffy. Totally crazy fucking. Good sex."  
  
Her tone is sarcastic.  
  
"Seriously, Willow. Tell me what is going on."  
  
Willow raises her hand, and lowers it, trying to hold her frustration.  
  
"He's been training me to fight. Defend myself."  
  
Buffy nods, and breathes a sigh of relief.  
  
Willow catches the breathe, and looks a bit enraged.  
  
"Were you thinking, Oh, hope Willow wasnt in to deep, so I can bring her back to good? Thought Spike could 'steal' me from you?"  
  
Even as she speaks her angry words, she starts to cry.  
  
Buffy sneers.  
  
"Yeah, I wanted to bring you back, for the research! Spike could never take you from us. After he trains you, he prolly will kill you for the fun of knowing you trusted him!"  
  
Willow's tears start to run more quickly, and she turns and runs out of the room.  
  
Buffy calls taunts after her with a self-satisfied grin.  
  
Spike glares angrily at Buffy.  
  
"Hope you are satisfied, you stupid bint."  
  
He glares angrily again, and takes off after Willow.  
  
..........................................................................................................  
  
-She was right, Spike hates me. Always has.-  
  
Willow had long since stopped running, her tears clouding her sight too much.  
  
When she hears footsteps, she doesnt think much of it.  
  
-Vampires would be quieter.-  
  
She wipes her tears away, and looks up just in time to see that the owner of the footsteps was a young guy.  
  
She blushes deeply, hoping he hadnt seen her sobbing.  
  
When he stops by her, she doesnt speak a word.  
  
"Hmm, now what is a little girl like you out at night alone? You should be with someone."  
  
Willow tries not to listen to the guy, never registering the fact he might be dangerous.  
  
Before she can think enough to walk away, he grabs her roughly.   
  
She forgets all her training as she panics.  
  
He drags her into a deserted alley at the side of the building, and pulls her down to the ground.  
  
"No!"  
  
She tries to scream, but he places another hand over her mouth.  
  
His hand trails down to the front of her shirt, and he begins to pull it off.  
  
-Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.-  
  
As he is beginning to do some things, she feels him stop, and is too far into stupor to notice.  
  
She finally gets the strength to look up, and sees Spike's concerned face.  
  
"Tired."  
  
She faints. 


	10. Decisions, Decisions

Willow floats slowly back to conscious.  
  
When she opens her eyes, the very first thing she sees is Spike.  
  
-Oh, God.-  
  
She whimpers slightly, and shakes her head wildly.  
  
"No."  
  
Her head stops shaking as she realizes it's making her dizzy.  
  
She repeats the previous word.  
  
"No."  
  
She closes her eyes tightly.  
  
"Red, we should........"  
  
His words make her snap her eyes open.  
  
Her eyes widen quickly as she realizes he's seen her without a top or bra.  
  
"No."  
  
She says it one last time, and her cheeks suddenly turn pink.  
  
"God, Spike."  
  
He moves down to a sitting position close to her.  
  
Willow cries out softly, and launches at Spike, wrapping him in a hug.  
  
He starts in surprise at her move, then relaxed.  
  
"Willow, Luv, leave this town behind. I was preparing to leave for Europe, and......."  
  
Willow quickly pulls away from him, and slaps him.  
  
"You were g..goi...going to leave me?"  
  
Her eyes fill once again with tears.  
  
Spike pulls her to him.  
  
"No! Not leave you. Never leave you. Red...Willow....Bugger. I LOVE you Willow."  
  
Willow jerks, and pulls away from him again.  
  
"Love me?"  
  
She cries out.  
  
"No! You cant!"  
  
Spike's face falls for the first time for quite a while, but then he hears a sentence he never expected.  
  
"You cant....because I love you."  
  
She falls silent, still crying.  
  
Willow throws herself at Spike, and finally sobs out all of her problems.  
  
When she is done, she looks up to him, and he wipes the tears from her eyes.  
  
"When do we leave? I cant be here anymore. No. I just cant."  
  
Spike looks at her softly, and nods.  
  
"Tonight Luv. It's sunny now."  
  
She takes a deep breathe, and nods.  
  
"I have to go home, get my stuff. Now is the best time."  
  
He nods.  
  
"You okay, Red?"  
  
She looks at him.   
  
"Frankly, no. I might not be for awile."  
  
He nods again, and gestures to the door.   
  
"Be back by sunset, Red."  
  
She flashes him a brave grin, and heads out the door. 


	11. Goodbye, Sunnydale

Willow hurries to her house, and gathers her favorite clothing, and her most prized posessions.  
  
She is almost out her bedroom door when she stops and grabs a pen, and some paper.  
  
She quickly writes four notes, then folds them and puts them inside individual envelopes.  
  
The envelopes are labled: Giles, Xander, Oz, and Cordelia.  
  
Then she stuffs them all in a larger envelope, and addresses it to Giles' house.   
  
She locates all of her parents well-hidden money, and calls a cab.   
  
As she waits, she puts the large envelope in the mail.   
  
When the cab arrives, she takes one last glance at her house, then loads her luggage and gets in.   
  
She has the cab stop at the graveyard gates. ((The one where Spike lives))  
  
She carries her luggage to Spike's crypt after she pays the driver, and dashes in so he wont get hit by the sunlight.  
  
"Spike? I'm back."  
  
He comes around behind her quietly, and taps her shoulder.  
  
She jumps high into the air, and blushes deeply.  
  
"Spike!"  
  
He grins devilishly at her, then looks serious.  
  
"It's near sunfall, Luv, I was getting worried."  
  
She punches him lightly, and grins.  
  
"The Big Bloody Bad was worried about me? I'm touched."  
  
Spike suddenly leans down and kisses her lightly, a smile playing across his wicked blue eyes.  
  
Willow stares at him after he pulls away.  
  
He notices, and is a bit concerned.  
  
"Pet, you okay?"  
  
She nods weakly.  
  
"Yeah, its just....new. I got a kiss from a vampire. God. It was nice."  
  
He nods, then looks to the sliver of a window he has.  
  
"It's getting dark. We should head out. Before..."  
  
Willow takes a deep breath, and nods.   
  
"The Slayer gets out and about."  
  
Spike inclines his head.  
  
"Bloody right you are."  
  
.............................................................................................  
  
A few hours later, a red-haired witch, and a peroxide blonde vampire pass the Leaving Sunnydale sign to a new future. 


	12. Letters

Giles' Point of View  
.....................  
  
Willow has been missing for nearly two days.  
  
Today, I got a package in the mail.  
  
It was sent anonymously.  
  
I quickly realized who it might be from.  
  
It was opened swiftly, and four individual envelopes were inside.  
  
They were labled with the names of me, Oz, Xander, and Cordelia.  
  
I was very surprised not to see one labled Buffy.  
  
Willow must have sent it to her personally.  
  
The first I did was call the three who recieved a letter, and Buffy.  
  
Although Cordelia was all away off in L.A. she immediately agreed to take the train to Sunnydale, and stay a few days.  
  
Xander and Oz were off in a flash to get here.  
  
Strangely, Buffy couldnt, or wouldnt, accept.  
  
She must have got a personal letter, and was upset by it.  
  
Xander arrived first, he must have set a speed record.  
  
Oz arrived next, only a few minutes after Xander.  
  
We all waited for Cordelia, but only had to wait about a half hour.  
  
How she managed, I dont know.  
  
She was barely in the door when I was barraged by demands for their letters.  
  
I gave them to the other three, and opened mine.  
  
.......................................................................................  
  
Giles' Letter:  
  
Dear Giles,   
I know you must be busy with the Slayer, and your research, but you get the longest letter.  
I'm gone. I left town. You, and the others might not ever see me again. This, I do not know for sure.  
I am also not sure that you really care, but I had to write you anyway. Like Buffy, you were like my surrogate father.  
You were always there when my own parents werent. I dont know if you ever cared for me, because I know I was a burden.  
All I can hope is that there was a thread of caring in you for me.  
I can also hope that Buffy hasnt spoken to you yet about the relationship with me and Spike.  
For several months, he has been training me to fight. I just couldnt stand being helpless.  
I'm better for it, and I hope you understand why I went to Spike. Couldnt go to Buffy, she was always too busy.  
Couldnt go to you, for you were always looking out for her, or researching. Couldnt go to anyone else.  
So I went to Spike.  
Anyway, one night, after a training session, Buffy heard a scream, and decided to check on it.  
The scream was from me, when I was fighting with Spike.  
He never hurt me in the sessions, not on purpose. For at least a month and a half, he just showed me to fight.  
After awile, we started sparring, fighting together. The only time he hurt me was in a fight, and still then it was minimal.  
So, Buffy heard the scream, and came. I was tired after the fight, and laying on the floor, Spike next to me.  
She heard some word exchanges, and had a misconception. She stormed out after a certain sentence, and tackled me.  
Spike tackled her off me, and the fight began. I said my share of mean things, but Buffy went way overboard.  
She hinted that she 'knew' me and Spike had sex, though we never had. I was really upset after she said Spike wanted  
to gain my trust, and then kill me for sport. That was my breaking point, and I ran out, and into the night.  
I sobbed and sobbed, and finally heard footsteps. I wasnt worried, knew it wasnt a vampire because I could hear them.  
I was right about the vampire thing, wrong about my lack of worry. It was a man.   
He suddenly attacked me, and I was too scared to remember my fighting skills.  
I was dragged to an alley, and...he started to rape me. Spike came out of nowhere, and saved me.  
Mostly.  
I fainted, and Spike brought me to his safehouse. When I awoke, he comforted me. And he told me he was leaving.  
He offered to bring me with, and I accepted. I went to my house in the day, got my stuff, and wrote the letters.  
Buffy did not receive a letter, and never will. I will send a letter occasionally to the four who received letters now.  
If the others ask, please do not tell them what I have told you. Tell nobody, not Buffy, not my parents.  
But I do want you to somehow tell my parents that I am okay, and alive. Tell them I love them, and that I am sorry.  
The stress was too much, and I ran away. That is what I told the others. So please, tell my parents that.  
Though it may not be right, I love you Giles, in my own way. Not intimate love, the love I have for my father-figure.  
  
-Willow Rosenburg  
  
  
Xander's Letter:  
  
Dear Xander,  
I love you Xander, love you as a friend.  
I'm gone now, I left, I ran away.  
I dont want to leave, but I must.  
It wasnt you, it was never you.  
Do not blame yourself, ever.  
I can honestly say the day I met you was the day my life took purpose.  
Without you, I would surely be dead.  
Dead in my heart, dead in my soul, and dead in my life.  
You are my brother, and will stay that way.  
Dont try to find me, you wont.  
I can only tell you never to let anyone poison your mind.  
Please, dont hate me. I had to leave.  
Dont try to understand, you wont, you cant.  
You have a great life now, and I will forever be happy for you.  
When I take my last breathe, be sure that I will be thinking of you.  
Only of you. Of how you saved my heart, soul, and life.  
God bless you Xander.  
  
-Willow Rosenburg  
  
  
  
  
  
Oz's Letter:  
  
Dear Oz,  
You were my first true love, my first true lover.  
I am no longer in Sunnydale, i'm gone.  
You arent to blame, nobody is.  
I still love you Oz, I always will.  
Have a good life, i'm sure you can.  
Be blessed, live.  
-Willow Rosenburg  
  
  
  
Cordelia's Letter:  
  
Dear Cordelia,   
You might not understand why you got a letter.  
I'll explain.  
Cordy, you were my torterer for many years.  
You were the one to insult me, hurt me.  
Thank you.  
My logic may be hard to come by, but here goes.  
You kept me from being sure of myself, kept my confidence from soaring.  
This may seem bad, but it is not.  
You saved me from becoming a bad person in your own way.  
Maybe you did not realize it, but it is true.  
I want to tell you now that I ran away.  
Maybe you can understand why I did this.  
You know its hard to live in Sunnydale.  
There are reasons unknown to you for why I left.  
They are unknown to all.  
All but Giles.  
Please speak no word to him that I mentioned this.  
I left the two of you with a very large burden, and I know this.  
I tell you this, because when you are ready, I want you to go to Giles.  
Have him tell you the true reason for my leaving.  
Then I want you to tell Xander and Oz.  
Only when you are ready, the reason is one you might never guess.  
And as I mention Xander, please listen to this.  
He loved you, I would guess he still does.  
When we did that..thing, it was a mistake.  
We always knew that, even as we did it.  
It was passion pent up from all our years.  
Forgive him, let him know he is forgiven.  
I want the best for both of you.  
The only way to get that is to stay together.  
Cling together, and never fall apart.  
Thank you Cordy, you were my private savior.  
God bless.  
-Willow Rosenburg  
  
.............................................................................................  
Giles' Point of View  
  
Everyone has read their letter.  
  
There are tears in everyone's eyes.  
  
Even mine.  
  
Willow never understood that she was like a daughter I will never have.  
  
Smart, resourceful, bright, never complains.  
  
The daughter anybody would want, the kind not many get.  
  
Wherever you are Willow, good luck. 


	13. Interlude

Two Years Later...........................  
  
  
Willow and Spike:  
  
1) They have become romantically involved.  
  
2) Willow removed Spike's chip with use of magick.  
  
3) Spike now feeds from humans, but keeps the deaths to a minimum, and only attacks shady people.  
  
4) Willow has gained much more confidence, and her magickal abilities are heightened by a lot.  
  
5) She wears clothes bolder then she used to.  
  
  
  
  
Sunnydale:  
  
1) Buffy is still alive, and now together with Oz.  
  
2) Cordelia and Xander got back together.  
  
3) Buffy, Oz, Xander, and Cordelia attend Sunnydale U. College.  
  
4) Buffy and Cordelia share a dorm, as does Xander and Oz.  
  
5) Cordelia, Xander, and Oz are taking fighting lessons. 


	14. Return To Sunnydale, CA

Willow steps confidently into a nightclub, Spike close at her side.  
She is wearing slightly loose black leather pants, a tight grey tanktop that shows off her pierced navel, and heeled black boots.   
Spike's wearing his typical black pants, shirt, and leather duster.   
She presses closer to him, and wraps her arms around his waist.   
The beat to the current song is going strong, and she moves to it.   
They move together in an exotic dance, never breaking, never speaking.   
Eventually, they take a pause, and move to a shadowy corner of the club.   
Willow breaks the silence, speaking with quiet words.   
"Spike, I want to go back."   
He looks at her, a surprised expression on his face.   
"Red, you cannot be serious. Those bits pushed you away."  
She rolls her eyes at him.  
"Goddess, Spike. You know I pushed myself away."   
He shakes his head angrily.   
"Not completely."   
She gives him a look.   
"I know."   
She pushes against him, instigating a deep kiss.   
They stay pressed together in the corner for a few minutes, then break apart and emerge again into the thronge of people.   
They leave the club after a few hours.  
Next day, right after the sun went up, they set out to Sunnydale by private jet.   
They reached the Californian town late that night, only about an hour before sunrise.   
The first warehouse they came across, they entered to stay the night.   
Willow magickally placed heavy black paint over the windows to keep the sun out.   
They both fell asleep almost immediately on the two beds that Willow had conjured. 


	15. A Conversation With Cordelia

Sunnydale CA  
  
Willow decided upon the day she woke up in Sunnydale, that she would contact Cordelia.  
  
She really needed somebody to talk to, one who wasnt Spike.  
  
Willow also knew it might not be the best idea, as Cordy might hate her ass, but she needed to talk.  
  
The woman wrote a note,:  
  
Cordelia,  
Goddess only knows if you hate my guts. I get it if you do.  
But please, I need somebody to talk to. I came into town, I need to face my past.  
I would guess you have figured out who this letter is from. I have enclosed an enchanted  
cross necklace. At 3:30 PM, on Friday, repeat the words -Bring me to thy Sorceress that conjured  
thy talisman. It will open up a portal to the place I am waiting. Do not worry, you will be safe.  
I have improved greatly in my magick. I truly am capable.  
  
enclosed the necklace, and sealed the folded note in an envelope.  
  
With a deft flick of the wrist, the letter came to rest in Cordelia's mailbox.  
  
Willow knew it was already 3:00, so she hoped that Cordelia would get the letter.  
  
A half hour later, she knew she neednt have worried, because the form of the brunette woman shimmered into view in front of her.  
  
Willow started to move forward, then suddenly was tackled into a huge hug from Cordelia.  
  
She hugged Cordy back with a relieved smile on her face.  
  
Suddenly Cordelia stepped back, and glared at Willow.  
  
"How could you just have left? You shattered the lives of people who love you! Me, Xander, Oz, even Giles hasnt been the same! He's been withdrawn even from Buffy!  
Strangely, more from Buffy then from us. God, Willow. We all have completely missed you. 'Cept Buffy, cuz she's a bitch."  
  
Willow listens to the tirade, tears growing from her eyes.  
  
Cordelia sees this, but doesnt waver until she gets an explanation.  
  
Willow sighs, and starts to explain.  
  
"Cordy, I would guess you havent spoken to Giles, like I mentioned in the original letter?"  
  
Cordelia shakes her head slightly, and Willow breathes relief.  
  
"There are many things that need explanation. Luckily for me, I have reasons. Not excuses, mind you, reasons."  
  
Willow suddenly looks curious.  
  
"What has Buffy said about me? There must be something."  
  
Cordy took a deep breathe, this would probably shatter Willow.  
  
"Buffy has told all of us that you and Spike had been....fucking. She said you left to be with him. God, i'm sorry."  
  
Willow starts trembling, but not in grief, as expected, but in complete rage.  
  
"Bitch. Alright, I hope you are ready for the truth, because it comes now."  
  
She takes one more deep breath before starting.  
  
"A few months before I left, I was waiting for the Buffster at the Bronze. I saw Spike, we talked. Buffy came, tried to stake Spike.  
I stopped her though. Later, Spike captured me, wanting to know why I stopped her from staking him.  
Took awile, but finally I told him I wanted to use him to learn to fight. He taught me, patiently.  
Our relationship was completely unromantic. One night, after a particularly grueling session, Buffy heard a scream.  
Me, while fighting with Spike. She crept up, where we couldnt see her, and she listened to us.  
She grossly misconcepted our conversation, and thought we were lovers. She tackled me, Spike tackled her, and the fight began.  
Not physically, though. It was a battle of words. She said some horrible stuff, and I ran off.  
Nearly got raped that night, but Spike saved my ass. He told me he was leaving Sunnydale, and I wanted to go with.  
He said I could, and the rest is pretty much history. Night we left, we shared our first kiss.  
Buffy is right now, because I AM with Spike now."  
  
Cordelia listened with rapt attention, her eyes boggling.  
  
"I guess now is the time to tell you me and Xander are engaged?"  
  
A finger was held up, a band shown off.  
  
Willow gasped, and hugged Cordy fiercely, then stepped back and looked Cordy in the eye.  
  
"So, you hate me?"  
  
Cordelia looked genuinely surprised.  
  
"Why'd I hate you?"  
  
Willow looks strangely at her.  
  
"Because of Spike."  
  
Realization dawns on Cordy's face.  
  
"Willow, if I could deal with Buffy fucking Oz, I think I could..........."  
  
She trails off and her eyes widen as she sees Willow's face go bright red almost immediately.  
  
Willow's face grows red swiftly in complete and total anger.  
  
Cordy bites her upper lip.  
  
"God, Willow, i'm sorry."  
  
Willow feels giant tears build up behind her eyes, and she points at Cordelia.  
  
"Begone."  
  
Cordelia disappears, sent back to her house.  
  
Willow crumples on the floor, sobbing wildly. 


	16. Angry, are we?

Spike walked back into the room Willow forced him out of for a few hours.  
  
The sight that greets his eyes is his fiery haired witch crumpled out on the floor, sobbing.  
  
A deep snarl escapes his lips.  
  
"Pet? Pet, what's wrong?"  
  
Willow's sobs reside, and a deep anger rushes through her veins.  
  
She looks straight up at Spike, and notices him back up a bit.  
  
"Luv? A bit angry, are we?"  
  
Willow takes a deepened breathe, and sends him a confused look.  
  
"Why would you think that, Spike?"  
  
He points soundlessly at her, then at a mirror.  
  
She looks over to it, and gasps slightly.  
  
Her eyes were pitch black.  
  
A look is shot back to Spike.  
  
"Oh,"  
  
She chuckles weakly,  
  
"that."  
  
Spike stares at her, and starts to move to her.  
  
She just stands where she is and watches him.  
  
His pace speeds up, and he is suddenly by her.  
  
He wraps her in a hug, and she starts to cry again.  
  
As she cries, her blackened eyes lighten back to their normal green shade.  
  
She finally calms, and looks up at him, her eyes glassy.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
She kisses him, lightly at first. Then after a bit, she deepens the kiss, and they kiss passionately.  
  
The two finally distangle, both knowing that Willow needed to breathe.  
  
They stand there, in each others arms for what seems to be eternity. 


End file.
